Time well spent

I realize that this blog (and by blog I mean hit counter) is barely being supported by a handful of friends and my own irrational need to constantly check said hit counter. And that’s probably as it should be, as I don’t post too terribly often and the vast majority of posts are pretty self-indulgent (this one is case in point). So instead of taking this as a judgment of just how dull my life/opinions are (I could so do a compelling blog if I felt like it), I’ve determined that the reason for this is that I’m leading such an active and intellectually stimulating life that I simply lack the time and inclination to tell you chowderheads about it. A brief rundown of how I pass the time each week:

• read the entire contents of no less than seven major newspapers on a daily basis, including at least one from a foreign country
• read two books, preferably nonfiction or new/obscure titles by famous authors
• watch a few documentaries on the History and Discovery channels
• try out several new recipes, preferably low carb/fat/calorie and made entirely with organic ingredients
• drink smoothies made from fruits and vegetables fresh from my garden
• run twenty miles
• donate several hours of my time to community service
• think about a way in which we can all just get along
• do lots of yoga
• add twenty pages to my draft of the great American novel

...and by that, I mean I:

• read the entire contents of the Onion
• guilt myself into reading a few pages of one of the many unread books I own before wondering what’s on TV
• watch Elimidate
• try a new variety of Lean Cuisine because they’re on sale
• drink beer
• limp around and complain about how my foot hurts
• try not to litter
• make fun of Michael Moore
• think yoga’s a funny word
• hired someone just to write this