Things I've learned since starting work at Starbucks:

1. No one looks cute in a big green apron and baseball cap.
2. Not even me.
3. Particularly not at 7 in the morning.
4. In fact, I can't think of anyone that looks cute at 7 in the morning. And I've seen a few.
5. Who the hell are all these people coming to Starbucks at 7 in the morning?!
6. And why are they all wearing cell phone headsets?!
7. People in Beverly Hills totally match the stereotypes.
8. Not me, though. No sirree.
9. I mean, just because I have a tan and highlights and my parents have a membership at a country club...
10. Whatever.
11. The Spanish are totally onto something with that siesta idea. Getting up at 6 a.m. with only five or six hours of sleep has led to a few involuntary naps.
12. Now I get grouchy if I miss my nap.
13. If by 'grouchy' you mean...
14. People actually order regular coffee at Starbucks.
15. That coffee is served hot.
16. They must know something I don't about how to cool it down before drinking it. That or they've killed all the nerve endings in their mouths and that's why they don't bother paying for anything fancier than coffee.
17. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing behind the espresso bar.
18. Or the cash register.
19. But smiling and acting like I do seems to be working.
20. My clothes smell like coffee when I go home.
21. I have ceased to enjoy the smell of coffee.
22. I have not, however, ceased to enjoy any of Starbucks' beverages.
23. It totally rocks to be able to get all the chai tea lattes and mochas and frappucinos that I want for free.
24. Even if that is an unhealthy amount of caffiene. I need it.
25. Damn, I'm tired.