Crazy

So the three people who read this must think I'm a total basketcase after that last entry. I don't have a whole lot to say right now, but things have since gotten better and that last post can't just be the first thing people see.

First of all, I'm all of 22 years old now, and this past birthday was one of the best ever because a. I got to shock everyone with how young I am (most assume I'm in my mid-20's), b. parents in town meant nice dinners out three nights in a row, and c. all the kamikazes people bought for me Saturday more than made up for not doing anything on my 21st birthday. The three-day hangover, too.

But after such a lovely birthday weekend, there was a bit of schoolwork to catch up on. Still is, as it turns out. But I feel I've sufficiently recovered to tackle what's left with my usual gung h---oh wait, never mind. I did complete my SAS homework (and enjoyed it, like the nerd I am) and a poorly-written competitive analysis, and simply resigned myself to the fact that an assignment due last week will not get done. And I'm ok with that. In college it took me a couple years to work up to a stellar gpa, and since I don't have that kind of time here, I'll just go around shocking everyone with how young I am again.

In other news, being part of Friendster is just plain trippy. It used to be a way to keep in touch with everyone I went to college with: now I'm being contacted by friends from high school and earlier. And did I mention I wasn't too terribly happy in high school and earlier and it's weird to think of the people I knew then (and, like the mature person I was, hated then) as an adult (kind of) now, wondering what they're up to and realizing I didn't really mean it when I wanted them to languish in the netherworld that is SMC (Santa Monica College, where close to a fifth of my high school's graduating class ends up every year) forever.

Other items of note (or hilarity):
I found this website regarding weapons of mass destruction.
I'm still glad I live in Chicago so I don't have to deal with record-breaking temperatures in Los Angeles.
Napster's in the news again (those record companies just can't let go, can they?)

...I think that's it. Ta!

Everyone gets down when it's, uh, sunny

So the weather here in Chicago has been beautiful over the last couple days... better than it has been in LA (booya!), and probably better than it will ever be during the summer because there isn't a trace of humidity. There isn't a cloud in the sky, and the warmth makes you want to move to the park with a hibachi and never return. And it makes me sadder than I have been in awhile.

Maybe it's lots of stuff converging: things aren't going so well with my brother and I'm frustrated that I can't help. I've heard nothing about my summer internship except that I didn't get a position at Apple (would bend over backwards--or forwards, for that matter--to get a job there if my adviser would let me... hate not having any control over this!). So now I'm freaked out that I'm going to get stuck somewhere shitty, like at a certain company for whom we did a client project this past quarter (and I'm not referring to the Navy). I'd rather go deeper into debt working for a company I respected than end up there. Plus I wonder if it would be possible to change tracks entirely and intern in a DDE rather than advertising capacity.

And then there's this lethargy brought on by the warm weather. It reminds me of last summer, which was amazing, and makes me wish I was out doing the things I was then: traveling around with friends, going to new places... and instead I'm stuck here doing course readings and group projects. I like them, but at the same time I start to get that feeling where I'm just killing time, and I abhor that above all else. Then I get depressed when I think of never having that kind of freedom ever again. That was it. It's over. Welcome to the real world. You might have a discretionary income (someday), but you'll only be able to spend it on expensive cars, clothing and furniture, because that most valuable of assets, time, will no longer be yours. Welcome to the 50-hour work week, with only 9 (nonconsecutive) days off per year. It's enough to make someone want to go into academia.

I think the lethargy is a product of frustration: I'm not actually tired, I just wish I was somewhere else. Now that it's warm, I feel like I'm not adequately enjoying it. Like that Calvin and Hobbes where Calvin says:

"Here I am, happy and content.
...but not euphoric.
So now I'm no longer content. I'm unhappy. My day is ruined.
I need to stop thinking while I'm ahead."

There are so many things I want to be doing that ultimately I'm torn by indecision and end up doing nothing and being really unahppy about it. This restlessness is driving me crazy, but I can't figure out which outlet is most appropriate for it, so nothing gets released and I feel worse than I did before.

Ugh. Guess I'll go running.

Spring

Growing up, my commute to school for eleven years was along Sunset Boulevard, and the part of Sunset in the middle of Beverly Hills is one of my favorite stretches of road. You pass by fantastically large (and, for the most part, beautiful) houses, green grass and trees line the street and fill the median, and there are a couple locations notable for their flowers. One is a gorgeous house that goes all-out in decorating itself for every major holiday, and the other is the Beverly Hills Hotel. The latter goes to the trouble of planting flowers in the center divider, and bears the expense of replacing them every two months or so. And in all those years of passing by, I've merely considered such replacement to be run-of-the-mill.

Here in Evanston, things work a little differently. Climate constrains such excesses (given the wealth of this town, they would probably exist if it were otherwise, though), but in their place is that wonderful leap in your heart when you notice green shoots poking through the ground. Yesterday I saw fully-bloomed daffodils, and the hedges and trees in my apartment courtyard are covered in green buds. Until now, I considered the odd 60-degree day to be a symptom of the wild swings in Chicago weather, but now it seems spring may actually be here.

Of course, the thoughts that gives rise to are those of summer, when I can walk to class in flip flops again and curse my coursework because it's just plain cruel to have to suffer group meetings in late May and June when we could be hanging out in the shade in a beer garden and people-watching. I was always glad USC let out in May and began again in late August, because that lets you enjoy the best part of the summer. To have free time in September makes me feel like I'm just wasting it.

Anyway, those are my thoughts of the day, now that I finally have the energy to write. I got back from my cruise on Sunday (yes, it was wonderful, and expensive, and self-indulgent, and so worth it) and have been exhausted ever since. So has the rest of my class, strangely enough--I don't think spring break was long enough. About half the class was falling asleep during our afternoon lecture yesterday, and I don't think the professor (a somewhat less popular one) is entirely to blame. A vast change in sleep schedule probably is. A big change in everything for me personally: now that I'm back, I have to a. begin exercising again and b. eating less (my new tan does a good job of hiding those extra pounds I put on, but doesn't change the visceral fat feeling), c. sit still for long periods of time, d. wear clothing, e. readjust to an environment that isn't constantly rocking (well, I haven't got my land legs back yet entirely, so I have to endure mental rocking every so often. Very distracting while learning a new computer program, by the way.) and f. start making use of my brain again. No wonder I'm tired. That baby in the room above me that cries every ten minutes isn't helping, either.

In line with f, I've started trying to follow the news again. I'm disillusioned with March Madness since, as one might have expected, my bracket really sucked, but baseball season begins in a week, so I'm looking forward to that. The usual depressing stuff that I ignore is going on, but I've always been a fan of the articles on social trends anyway, both because that's where my interests lie anyway and because that's the kind of journalism that I find to be more impressive. Anyone can write about the latest tragic death (they don't really have to, that's what AP and Reuters are for), but to be on the ball detecting social trends is a lot harder simply because it's such a fuzzy idea to capture. You can only interview your friends so many times. Anyway, I found this article in the LA Times and while it was interesting, I think some of these people are really stupid. I've never understood martyrdom in the name of some social ill (in my experience, the idea is only useful in getting one through the "I'm so misunderstood" teen years, and beyond that it's just immature), since you're only hurting yourself and honestly, who else cares? I'm mad at the paper for making these people think they're right and inspiring hundreds of others to mimic them in some misguided attempt to make government officials feel bad. Being active in a cause and donating money is one thing, but to give up the advantages of a marriage license and pay extra to insurance companies that don't give a shit is another.

And with that, I think I've worked up enough energy to go for a run. Ciao!

MIA

Spring break is finally here, and I can feel the lethargy taking me prisoner already. I can sleep till noon, and do things like rent the entire fourth season of Sex and the City and watch it all because hey, what else is there? I made up for missing Saturday's St. Patty's Day festivities (c'mon, everyone's gotta see a green river at some point in their lives) by going out on Wednesday and getting plastered, though I got started at the late hour of 8 pm and never did quite catch up to my friends, who started at 5. The night was that much more entertaining for me, though. And looming over everything I do is my departure on Sunday for points Caribbean. After the overcast misery of the past few days (highlighted by the impending season change that can't come soon enough), I can't wait to pack flip flops, board shorts, bikinis, and halter tops in preparation for our cruise.

I'll be gone from Sunday to Sunday, and while I know you all have March Madness to tide you over (I think I'm coming in at 55 in a pool with only 60 or so people in it), here are a couple of extra tidbits from the LA Times that I found to be really interesting. First, an article on how The DaVinci Code has basically sparked a wave of interest akin to Harry Potter-mania (the word-of-mouth on both of these is really spectacular; I wasn't all that impressed by the DaVinci Code, but such is life when you're buying information: you can't assess whether or not it's worth having until you actually have it, and by God I had to have it cuz everyone else did).

And secondly, this article on USC beefing up its faculty in the College of Letters, Arts and Sciences. Makes me think of the good ol' days when I was a USC Ambassador or whatever; it took me several years to figure out what they were actually trying to accomplish with that program (viral marketing from a preferred source, as we were chosen for our GPA's). Money in that budget is so overshadowed by the influence of our athletic department that it may as well be diverted there. To cut through the clutter, a school can only really send out one message at a time, and our football team is doing a much better job of it than anyone else there. It can get more complicated though, depending on who it is you're trying to sell on the school. Ideally, you want to send the message to everyone that USC is the place to be because of good athletic programs and academic excellence, but it's rare one school can pull off both (Stanford is the only one I can think of that's ever done so convincingly, and it's unfortunate they're in the same state). But people ultimately value different things in making their decisions and evaluations (yeah I know that's redundant), and USC wants to attract a population different from the one that finds a great football team to be a major draw, therefore they have to have other messages out there to persuade the people looking for them that there are a good number of more compelling reasons to attend/donate money to USC.

It's encouraging that I still find this interesting after the quarter I had, and indeed have even more intellectual ammo that I can use when thinking about stuff like this.

Wish me bon voyage!

Quickie

Found this interesting mention in the WSJ afternoon report:

Stop Blaming Fast Food for Fat, Lawmakers Urge in Proposed Bill
U.S. House Republicans want Americans to stop using the fast-food industry as a scapegoat for the skyrocketing obesity epidemic. The House moved today to stop lawyers from blaming the health crisis on fast-food and other restaurants in a proposed bill that would prohibit many obesity or weight-related claims against the food industry. "Americans are eating themselves to death and looking for someone to blame,'' said Rep. David Dreier of California. The congressional debate came a day after the government said obesity could soon replace smoking as the top preventable cause of death. Democrats called the bill a Republican political ploy aimed at hurting trial lawyers and helping the multibillion dollar food industry.

I can't say I'm a big fan of Bush these days, but Democrats have to stop pissing me off too. Why do they care about trial lawyers? This country doesn't need anymore lawyers period, not to mention the "let's sue your pants off on a trumped-up charge" kind (a la Erin Brockovich's most recent BS--don't even get me started on how much I hate that woman; the linked article is an excellent one, but isn't nearly as scathing as I'd like it to be). And the multibillion dollar food industry is changing, due to popular demand (you know, that whole capitalism thing) rather than frivolous lawsuits. I scoffed when teens sued McDonald's for making them fat, and thought it was downright funny when France tried to blame them for the same thing as well ("Je prends plus de freedom fries, s'il vous plait"). While eating their fare may damage one's health, it's not like anyone had any misconceptions about that. People should be held responsible for their own actions (that goes for tobacco plaintiffs, too--I hate smoking but I don't think litigation is the way to get rid of it; that's what laws and stuff are for, and I'm tired of the press catering to the lawyers), and I guess that belief is why I'll never be a Democrat. (Goddamn it, politics again.)

Over

Well, the long-awaited day of our Navy presentation has come and gone. We told medical recruiters our idea for targeting 4 universities and leveraging the ROTC presence that's already there, and apparently we did a damned good job of it, because we won!!! And no Coaches/AP-like split, either: both the ad agency and Navy chose our group as the best; the other group that won was chosen by the agency because they'd already gone and purchased all those portfolios to give to the winners, so they had to pick a second. (That sounds mean; I don't know what that group presented, but I'm sure they had a solid presentation or they wouldn't have been picked.)

It's good to know it all paid off... I may have to develop some sort of work ethic out of guilt, though, because while I was glad the group won, I didn't feel like I deserved it. I knew the people in our group that did, and I was really happy for them and lucky I got to work with them, but I felt guilty that they had to put up with me for the last two months. Live and learn... I want to be one of those people next time.

Whatev

Just thought I'd take this moment to post, seeing as how I'll be at the mercy of my printer for the next eternity anyway--I'm printing out my Navy project paper (for those of you who haven't been unfortunate enough to hear about it, my class is working on a plan for the U.S. Navy to improve their recruitment of doctors, dentists, and nurses), a healthy 46 pages in length, and needless to say grad students aren't the laserjet-owning types. It'll be an interesting exercise in patience and keeping my frustration under wraps, as I have to rush this stuff to Kinko's to get bound tonight, and in a burg like Evanston, nothing is open later than 10 p.m. (seriously, there's a college here, just adapt already).

Of course, given that every waking minute since my last post (and that's a lot of waking minutes, by the way--I can't remember the last time I got more than 6 hours of sleep) has been devoted to this project, I don't have a whole helluva lot to say. Given my current frustration, I'm not in the same fabulous mood I was in yesterday (which I miss...I was seriously beginning to think something was wrong with me because I was in such a persistently good mood, but today has quashed those suspicions pretty definitively), so I can't go on and on about how happy I am. But I suppose talking about oneself is never all that hard, as we've just now established.

So lessee, what's going on in the world today... there were some elections and stuff, but Kerry's pretty much clinched it, so there's no real point in paying attention anymore (not that I ever did, I have fellow bloggers Chris and Brendan to take care of that).

Today's WSJ question of the day is "Would you pay a small fee to send each email as a way to eliminate spam?" The answer, of course, is a resounding 'no' from 78% of those who have replied, which is especially telling given that a decent portion of those people probably did pay a subscription fee in order to access the WSJ online. Email is universally considered to be free to all, and no one wants to pay on a per message basis. Plus, I'd have my doubts about the effectiveness of the spam blocker even if I paid; I mean, it's not like people aren't trying to block it as it is! 100% fool-proof spam protection will likely get into some invasion of privacy issues; I'd rather just hit the 'delete' button a couple times a day.

There's also a hilarious article that starts off with a great (and telling) first line: "Parents have a new ally in their quest for grandchildren: online dating sites." It gets interesting from there, with success stories mingled with parents that set up profiles and email people without the knowledge of their children. Here's the link, and I've come to the conclusion that everyone I know should just subscribe to the WSJ already.

Ok, am now too tired to write anymore (can't wait until the day 2 weeks from now when it'll be alcohol that's sapped my energy rather than group projects!)--on a positive note, though, the new Onion is up. Happy Wednesday!