Not all forwards suck

I'm currently swamped by what feels like 37 thousand unique and involved (read: 'requires a lot more time than I'm really willing to give') projects, foremost among them trying to make up convincing numbers for sales conversions based on advertising exposure, something which people have been trying to make up unsuccessfully for years. So chances are I won't be able to post much over the next, um, forever, but I did want to share the first decent forward I've received in ages:


As I've Matured:

1. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
2. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
3. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
4. I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.
5. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
6. I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
7. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
8. I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.
9. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
10. I've learned to say "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.