No more classes, no more books

Apologies for the long silence, but I’ve just finished two of the most hellish weeks academia’s ever managed to force on me. Here are the numbers behind my final week of spring quarter:

average number of hours of sleep per night: 5
all-nighters: 3
red bulls consumed: 15
mochas consumed because was sick of red bull: 6
pages written while hyped up on caffeine: 31
pages written that probably should have been edited by a slightly more lucid third party: 31
presentations given: 1
rehearsals of said presentation prior to giving it before the client: 0
slides that appeared prematurely because the speaker took their own sweet time talking about the point of the previous one: 12
group members I’ve plotted to kill: 7
amount of pleasure taken in writing peer evaluations (on a scale of 1 to 10): 12.5
chastisements from professors for lack of professional courtesy shown in peer evaluation: 1
A's awarded to date for all that work: 4
A's that must have been the result of temporary insanity on the part of the professor: 4
A's that I wouldn't have minded being B's if it meant I could have slept more: 1